Windows in My life

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Wow Wednesday.

Two-thirds of the year is gone and another third is yet to come. Going to prep for a birthday and oddly enough looking forward to it. However it's going to be a little bitter sweet because it would be two and a half year reminder of the past. At least this year I'll be able to make the best birthday cake that she's ever seen.

I don't know where a 3 year old would like to play, however since she does have an older sister and friends with siblings I have to see where I can do it. Maybe I'll ask around, see what hip place a three year old and 5 year olds want to be seen at.

Any suggestions would be helpful.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

A top ten

A friend told me that I had a "type of guy" or what some call standards in mind and I am setting up road blocks to some one who doesn't fit the 'ideal' categories however if he likes me enough to stick around that is fine too.

In some ways he's right. I do, not only because it's me, it's also my littles I have to think about. What ever goes on in my life effects and affects them too.

So here it goes, a top 10 of things I am looking for in a very, very long term relationship.

10. No marriage talk or commitment for at least 3-6 years. Maybe once and a while joke about it with mutual friends however its not for me, at least for now.

9. Must be comfortable by himself 50% of the time. I've got littles and I would like one on one time with them. Maybe just maybe there will be a time where the two world meet... Maybe.

8. Must be comfortable with himself. I have my own baggage to be carting around don't need a man that has more than I do. I work in an industry that has 12-16 hr days on a regular day and maybe 20+ on Holidays. Hope he doesn't mind helping out when big orders come in.

7. Must know that I am a person of many interests and love traveling. Updated passport is a must (Side note: I have to get mine in order too).

6. I'm a baker and keep weird hours. I love to cook many yummy treats, maybe at midnight or 1 in the morning its not the best time to start cooking, however you'll never need to get Krispy Kream again... unless I am spent and the "HOT NOW" icon on the app on my phone lights up. (See #5)

5. Must love Nerds, Geeks, and Tech gadgets, That's me besides that I can change the oil in my car, talk about sports, and even pound a pint or two of Guinness. I am all of that plus a trained pastry and baker. I can talk shop with most people and am always knee deep in learning something new.

4. Must have some thoughts in his head. I don't mean a Rhode Scholar or some one from M.I.T. (though it would be nice hehehe), I would like some guy that knows pop culture and can extrapolate an idea about something and trust in me that if you ask a question and I answer it, please don't go to Google to see if I am correct. I will google it myself if I am unsure or say that I don't know and we will look it up together.

3. Must love animals. I have two cats currently and will not give them up even for the man in my life. Sorry, I have commitment issues.

2. Must understand that my moods, even when in a controllable state, can be very weird. I can be very introverted after a long day or very extroverted and want to go out to a bunch of bars and hang out till the sun comes up. Its just another day for me.

1. Must know that even though I am 50% physically with him, I am 100% committed and would never cheat or lie. I will need the same commitment from him.

Some times I wonder if this might scare guys off. Only time will tell if and when it does happen. Oh, right... that would require me to go out of my house some time to date a guy or two and require me to actually dress up a bit.

Monday, September 1, 2014

Every day chances

Today a friend of mine stated that he was always there for me and any time I need to talk he's there. Good thought in theory. Bad in practice. When I want to talk he's out with his friends or tired from the days event or will get back to me on something I have a question about and doesn't get back to me. Then when he wants to talk I'm tired or have to go some place. Time isn't on our side, so to speak.

This is as much interaction I get from him once or twice a week. So the question is: how many chances do I give one person before giving up and joining a nunnery?

I give leeway but for most of my friends its the same story. No one seems to really care that I am away either. it seems they go on with their lives. Oh well.

I have this blog, which no one seems to leave comments on, so I don't know if I'll get any feedback or suggestions on how to deal with the no friends no relationship thing.

If you do read this please let me know.

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Created a Monster and a tale of two starters

I've created myself into a monster. I don't know how I do it however people change into something I don't know and then become the monster they want to know. I just shut down. 

Aug. 25
On a different note the starter I started on Aug. 25th with one container and a hope that I can get a starter started for bread, as an experiment just to trust myself. Then yesterday this happened:
Aug. 30

Then this morning I had to put the starter in two containers because I don't have any thing big enough to put it in just yet. However they have doubled in size and the smaller amount has risen to the other level in the same amount of time. I am going to take a picture of the twins later. I am also going to take one to school to see what my bread teacher thinks.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Playing with Besan Ladoo

Early stages of Ladoo. Bottom is Kokum syrup.
A friend told me about the desert so I wanted to try and make it.

So went to the local Indian market yesterday and today had the whole day to make it. Yea, two attempts and Besan all over the house with some take away points. Gee is something that can be sold in a jar. and I need to do more R and D for this desert. I may have to find an Indian restaurant to let me stage for a couple of days so I can learn and replicate it at home. Not just Ladoo, but a few different deserts as well.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Choices, Dough, and Kokum

There is an odd moment in one's life where its better alone. Right now seems the time for it. I've been alone since the X left and now its starting to settle.

However on the rare occasion you want to call someone up and have some fun either cooking, chatting or just being oneself and you can't because they don't exist.

I just have to chose to stay comfortable in my skin and wait out that. I don't really do much of anything besides go to school and home. My friends (I can count on one hand) have lives and I don't want to torcher them with yet another funny joke I heard at school about food.

It will happen one day, I know it will, I just have to make the right choices and be open to it when it comes.

"I've got thyme on my side, yes I doooo" food humor, gotta love it.

On another note, I have been battling with dough and Kokum. Dough is tough because its my strong suit. I thought Breads class an easy A because its just making dough rise and then baking to a nice crisp. Brain went on over load because the high moisture content of it. I guess the Joy of Cooking (great book and my holy word) doesn't believe in anything higher than that of a cup of water. My battle with it has turned my world in many different directions. Starting to, after the second week, making peace with said dough and starting to feel comfortable with it.

Kokum is another beast. when I tasted it plain, it is as bitter as bitters in the liquor cabinet. After about 7-8 cups of sugar and vanilla extract, I finally got the bitter out, however it won't freeze. Too funny! Oh I guess you have to be in my brain or a food junky like a cook or have a mind for weird foods.

Going to end here. Being tired and sick is weary on me.

Friday, July 11, 2014


Oh my. Last few days I was dying for sleep. Now my brain says nope not going to do it. Wouldn't be prudent. Sleep please?