Windows in My life

Sunday, December 23, 2012

I cried

I cried at the movie Emma. I have watched the movie before and I don't remember crying at the end of the movie so much, how she found her "Mr. Knightly." I thought I found my Mr. Knightly too. He was a great guy. I valued his opinion more than life itself. I took his opinion in and made a decision based on his thoughts. He made me laugh and cried at the sappy parts when I couldn't cry in the movie theater, he made me feel like I could do anything because he had that much value in me.

He didn't see it that way. I guess he didn't want to see it that way. For months I have tried to think of reasons why he would leave the way he did. I think he was scared, but I can only assume. He got a lawyer and not so kindly handed me divorce papers. I guess my Mr. Knightly wasn't so knight in shining armor after all. It only pains me that it has to be at the expense of two children that had only the hopes of having a stable first family like their friends and now have to know two houses. Now have to know a life of reality.

My heart aches at the facts faced before me. That I am no longer a wife. That he has left and will never return as my husband, only the father of my children. No longer will I laugh at the jokes he tells the same. No longer will the value of what he says about my life matter to me as much as it did before.

He made it this way. He made a unilateral decision that effected everyone and tries to blame me in every way. No longer will I cry about this situation that he put me in. No longer will I put him first in my life. So many have asked why did I want him back. It was for the two little girls that have half his last name. They deserve to know a happy and loving home with the same parents living in the house.

However they should have both parents happy and in love with some one that truly cares for each other. Not in a loveless marriage filled with hate and spite. I loved the man I married. I do not love what he has done and nor will I love or look at him in the same way again.

I first have to find it in my heart to love myself more than I do right now and I see that. I have to love my two little girls. The guy that comes into my life will have to love me and the girls as well. He has to be strong and be able to tell me the truth about everything.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Starting a list of things

So I have decided to make a few lists in life.

1. A bucket list
2. A list of things I want to do before I am 35 years old.

The bucket list and the other list will be posted however I don't know where to post it.

I think the list of things I want to do before I'm 35 will be a simple list of 35 things. Hopefully not too hard to accomplish in a year and a half or so. Definitely some will be kid friendly since I do want to involve my kids in some respects. Others would be just for me.

I am having a some difficulty with the bucket list. Can any one help on that? I would really be thankful!

Monday, October 8, 2012

Just another day and allergies!

Well I haven't posted in a while. I got a job Weee! Though its a temp job and no guarantee of being hired full time however it is a great company. I have a few months of 9-5 basically to earn some money.  Its nice not to be in my house 24/7 however the time lost with my little ones is a big deal. I liked having them around me and doing things that I could see them learn and grow.

So last week B and G had a few strawberries and what ensued was a night of being sick. Except for me. I wondered about it and then realized that OMG they both had the same fruit. First the thing one granny said was if it wasn't Organic then it could have been the pesticides that resided on the fruit. So I thought it was because the next day the strawberries that were left had mold on them so I threw them away and thought nothing of it. Until this weekend when B was eating strawberries at a friend's party. Then I saw the hive on her cheek... I guess an allergy test is coming soon for her and G. Poor little ones!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Sucked into Pinterest

I have been board and kind of old maidish since I have some time while my husband is in his world, so I have been throwing myself into finding how-to's and making clothes and other items for my little ones.


 Here is something I found on Pinterest. This pinafore is something I really wanted to try this because it looked so simple. From start to finish it was 30 minutes combined. I did mess up on the center as the skulls are upside down rather than the side skulls. I really wanted to make this reversible, I can still make more (which I plan to do) just this one is going to be one sided. I also made button holes! Its a small start and hopefully I can get to a point of selling them on my Etsy Shop and some Farmer's Markets next year. I'll post more things I made from Pinterest soon!

Sunday, August 12, 2012

#back2school Day 1 $200 GC to Amazon!

The First Giveaway for the Back to School event is the Amazon $200 Gift Card. The giveaway starts at midnight on Aug 13th and will close on August 31st at 11:59pm.

Thank you to MySillyMonkeys ( for organizing this giveaway.

Back to School Giveaway time!

You may be wondering, Amanda you don't have kids that go to school as you have a three year old and an 8 month old so why are you doing this? Simple I have friends and relatives that are going through the Back to School drama and its hard out there when you need to save money. So during the 13-31 of Aug. a bunch of bloggers and thanks to MySillyMonkeys ( for organizing this giveaway.

Starting tomorrow win a $200 Gift Card for Amazon!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

sad to see it go #voltklout

Well it's been fun! The Volt left our driveway this afternoon to go off to another test driver. Hope they vacuum before it goes to the next house. So now pros and cons of the Volt:

1. Easy on the pocket book. I didn't have to fill it up once. Granted it will reflect on the electric bill a few dollars more, however it beats $3.89 a gallon that I have to pay on my RAV4.
2. The optional DVD player is cool when not in drive.
3. Very good commute car especially in stop and go traffic. I gained a mile back in energy by the traffic and going down hills.
4. Super quiet. You could not hear the engine when it switched over from electric to gas. Grace fell asleep in it a few times.
5. Navigation in the drivers HUD. Awesome!! Did not have to hear a ding or crane my neck to see what was the next turn was.

1. Plugging it in every night. I know, I know its the nature of the plug-in cars just wanted to say it.
2, A bit of a tight squeeze for tall people. The steering wheel was a bit too tight on my legs and knees.
3. Family car it is not. Again its a commuter car or for those with out a family. I had a hard time with a stroller, a diaper bag and random toys then trying to fit one bag of groceries in the back trunk.
4. The controls, all be it slick and cool looking; are functionally impaired. I had a hard time with the touch panel and the controls that were touch sensitive. It doesn't have a child safety lock on it so my tot got into everything!
5. DVD player when in drive didn't play. My tot was disappointed so I didn't bring them after the first trip.
6. There is no option to turn just the radio off. The center console had an on/off button that controls everything so if I wanted that displayed I had to have the radio on. Maybe if I had more time I could have tinkered with it more.