Yesterday was the first day of couples therapy. I thought it would be a round like any other around our house. I went in with an open mind and thoughts that this might be the nail in the coffin to our marriage. However I heard something for the first time in years from him. "I am hurt. She doesn't support me when I am down." Maybe I have but there has been a lot on my plate in resent months and I have been reflecting on me not us. I thought I was. I thought that by doing all of the things I was doing that it was helping us. In reality it was tearing us a part.
I wanted to say I am sorry at the appointment however when I did say it he wasn't hearing it. I understand, I know he needs time. Its hard for me to not want to wrap my arms around him, give him comfort when he's wounded. I probably would do the same. Its his choice when he wants to come back to being us. For now I need to wait and just be. That is very hard for me to do. Very hard.