Tuesday, March 27, 2012
I have been getting use to the stay at home life. Sleeping in a bit, knowing that the only person to take care of is sleeping right next to you, ok maybe kicking you in the back to change her diaper; because the eldest is at daycare. Getting dressed at noon, so when the mailman comes you do not look like a wreck. Having the freedom to clean the house at what ever time is best for you, because the Netflix marathon of "Say Yes to the Dress" is great mind numbing fun.
However fun it seems to me about being the stay at home mom, the anxiety of the real world sets in fast. Bills, depression, and feeling like a failure on some level about being the mom I think my family needs.
I feel the middle ground is me working part time to be there for both kids during the week and to take some pressure off my husband with the bills. Finding my inner craft diva and tacking my husband's sewing machine to sell a few items on Etsy and this new website I found called Craftsy. And getting my Lactation Certificate to hopefully become an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) one day.
For now, I guess, I'll be back behind my desk tomorrow morning at 6 AM Pacific Daylight Time trying to stay awake thinking of Grace and how I am doing this wacky job for her and Bella and no one else.
Monday, February 21, 2011
So tonight me and hubby had a fight about owing his mom and aunt money they put in for us to buy the new home. Hubby an I were under the impression that it was going to be returned to us sometime in the next few weeks. Turns out it wasn't. So my hubby is stressing out. I had a previous talk with his mom and she stated that when we get some extra cash then it would be ok to pay them back I said that when we get the tax return for 2010 we would pay them back ASAP. I guess hubby wasn't told about the update and he wanted to use what was in savings. I said no because that was Bella's, also the rainy day fund in case of desperate emergencies. I felt that this was not a time to use it. And I told him no. He blew up at me and told me all sorts of things that I felt that I was getting attacked and that he was not listening to me. So I walked out of the car (we were parked at the time) and preceded to walk home. He came after me yelling. Saying that I didn't love him because I didn't say it back. I didn't say it back because I didn't feel like this was about love it was about money. In my view money and love do not mix. We finally resolved the issue but it left a bad taste in my mouth because it felt that if it was a loan from my dad it would be my issue and not his problem. I also felt that h