Windows in My life

Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Friday, September 27, 2013

Moving on

It is hard to move on when your heart is broken.

It is hard to live a life that is only half of what you thought your life was going to be.

It is hard to move on when your heart is broken.

It is hard to live in the past yet search for the future brighter than that of the past.

It is hard to move on when your heart is broken.

It is necessary to move on.

It is necessary to pick up the pieces of your heart and glue it back together knowing that it will never be the same.

It is necessary to move on.

It is necessary to live a life worth living no matter how hard it is to put one foot in front of the other.

It is necessary to move on.

It is necessary to feel happy again in order to feel another life come into being.

With that I am moving on.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Unemployment Sucks

As of yesterday I got denied again for unemployment. Yes, I have a roof over my head and two daughters to look after however it's going to be a thousand times rougher to go for an interview and then if I need to put Bella and Grace in Day Care I at least have 1 spot however if both need to go because of some twisted sense of reality (and you know that will happen with me) I am stuck again. Maybe not I get a job with a daycare built in.

I had another argument with husband. If he moves out (more likely now) I want to know the place that the kids will be staying and that over nights might be a month or two after that. He thinks I don't trust him with Bella or Grace. I do however think it will take a few times to know the place. I don't want to throw her in a place that it doesn't feel like home. I am still breastfeeding Grace so it would be tough for me to stop that on the weekend or weeks she's gone.

I married and had kids because I love him, I thought this wouldn't happen. I promised myself that if I opened my heart to a man it would be for life. I had my fair share of horrid people in my life. I want to be happy, joyful with him and the kids that we brought into this world. If I had any doubts I would not have gotten married, I would have just spent my life alone. Now I feel like this is a horrid dream I can't wake up from and I so want to wake up, be hugged and told everything will be ok and all right.