Windows in My life

Showing posts with label happy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happy. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Why Not? #hawmc


Have you read this book? Neither did I until my daughter got this for her second birthday. Its about a Naked Mole Rat that likes to wear clothes when the status quo of Mole Rats is to remain Naked.

The main character Wilbur says "Why Not?" to the argument of the three other characters stating Naked Mole Rats Don't Wear Clothes.

When people tell me to feel something other than what I am feeling I ask "Why Not?" Why not feel sad? Its a valid emotion, everyone feels it at one point in their lives. I've realized you can't force it down into the pit of an empty void in the soles of your feet, or in the small of your back, what does that get you, a ticket to see a specialist and a pill bottle full of pain killers. Never addressing the real problems of life. It does hurt to a degree but why not feel emotion? Its fully in a person's right to feel happy but not sad? I know in the Declaration of Independence that there is the pursuit of happiness, but what if some one's happiness at a point in life is to be sad? To feel the pains and hurt. Some authors actually wrote their best work while depressed. Would you have told Kurt Vonnegut, hey  I think you are too sad; take these pills and your troubles would go away. With pills I meant Lithium and other anti-depressants. I don't think the books he was famous for would have been written. Maybe they would, but wouldn't be as popular if they were happy and joyful would they? Why Not? Because when some one feels raw emotion, it comes out in their writings.

Why Not?

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Happy Birthday to you, dear Grandma, happy birthday to you.

Today was my mother's birthday.

Today she would have been 64 years old.

Today her two granddaughters would have sung her a happy birthday song, well at least Bella, Grace would have coo'ed.

5 years ago, this month, her body was found and ended any reconciliation we had.

Today I am going to Grace Cathedral and lighting a candle for her. For the happy memories when she was alive.

Happy birthday to you, Mom.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Happy 2 months of life Baby Grace

Two months and a day ago, I thought I would not be able to love two girls.
Grace a few hours old

You proved me wrong.

I love you and your sister, (though trying as both of you maybe) with a love that can not be expressed in words.

You have survived the kissing and hugging and patting from Bella.

You have survived mommy's melt downs with and with out medication. Mommy is the one that's in need of medication.

You have survived another milestone in your small short life. 

Grace at 1 month
You are teaching me another lesson in slowing down and taking one step at a time and to remember to breath.

You are letting me experience the joy of motherhood a second time and seeing life through your brand new eyes.

This time I am a bit more relaxed.

This time I don't feel the pressure of trying to have the perfect anything and everything.

This time I know when you look into my eyes, I know what you are thinking... well some of the time.

This time I can do what's right for me and not feel like I am going to hurt you. 


All I want to do is love and hold you.

Thank you baby Grace.
Grace at 2 months old