Windows in My life

Showing posts with label Fractured. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fractured. Show all posts

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Baby steps

Today was a momentous day. Got a lot done though I thought it wasn't much. I really hate making some decisions in life. I dislike that in order to protect my small family I feel I have to shut off the rest of the world right now. I'll be able to start slowly being near the people who helped my husband. I just have to survive with my girls right now.

My husband doesn't answer my phone calls anymore, nor my text messages. Maybe I should stop trying to talk with him. It hurts so bad that I can't see him, hear him, touch him. I wish that he was hear talking to me about his day, talking about how broken his android phone is and the tech news of the day.

I am so tired, however I have to move forward from this and explore each day like it was the first day of the rest of my life, like the way Bella or Grace learn new things every day.

PS I got them both to bed again at around 7:30 pm. Baby steps

Monday, July 16, 2012

Fractured Fairy Tale

My life is one right now. I have known my husband for 8 years, 4 of them married and 2 kids ages 3 and 7 months.

Just recently I found out that in the 5 years he has slowly fallen out of love with me. Why? Only he knows at this point and not sharing. Now he wants to be separated, live in his own place "for a while" and work on us.

I don't want him to leave. I want him to stay here with me and the kids. I don't want weekends away from them. I don't want them to know a new place. I feel like I am very selfish right now. I feel very protective of my children right now.

Maybe in a few months with some talking to a councilor we'll be on the right track. Though right now in the moment, I feel hurt, betrayed, a lone. However I have to be strong, willing to hear him out and finding a way to put two kids in daycare AND pay for my home. Any suggestions?