Windows in My life

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

I feel like a cat up a tree

I feel like this cat to the left. Not knowing if I let go some one would be there to catch me. Just looking to the heavens and saying a bunch of prayers for a rescuer to come with a ladder and grab me before I fall off and land not so gracefully on my butt in front of people.

I am learning that I can rescue myself.

I feel that I need balance in my life with out a safety net of another person. I do need a hug now and then. Every one needs one from another person. I have two little girls to do that. However, I am not leaning on them as adults. I am taking that unconditional love for them that I have and cherishing every moment I have with them.

My life isn't over by along shot however for two months I have been sulking in the shadows hoping for that Hail Mary pass from someone besides myself. Someone to take charge and to take the troublesome load off my shoulders. I was looking for someone to take control of my life as I felt it was spinning out of control. And it was for a while. I feel that I am moving past the out of control Amanda and into the Amanda 2.0 that every one can see forming before them. I just hope for the sake of the kids I can continue to show them that you can fall from a great height, get slightly injured and dust yourself off to start anew. 

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