I am learning that I can rescue myself.
I feel that I need balance in my life with out a safety net of another person. I do need a hug now and then. Every one needs one from another person. I have two little girls to do that. However, I am not leaning on them as adults. I am taking that unconditional love for them that I have and cherishing every moment I have with them.
My life isn't over by along shot however for two months I have been sulking in the shadows hoping for that Hail Mary pass from someone besides myself. Someone to take charge and to take the troublesome load off my shoulders. I was looking for someone to take control of my life as I felt it was spinning out of control. And it was for a while. I feel that I am moving past the out of control Amanda and into the Amanda 2.0 that every one can see forming before them. I just hope for the sake of the kids I can continue to show them that you can fall from a great height, get slightly injured and dust yourself off to start anew.