Windows in My life

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The many faces of reality

So today my husband said that my posts don't reflect reality, well his mother told him that. He said that during this past weekend he spent borrowed money to buy us food for the week. Which was true. He did spend money for shopping for this house and his own. I mean how many packets of hotdogs can one person eat from Costco?

He said that I wanted to light his stuff on fire. I know that is not right both for for my kids sake and for my own marriage sake. Sometimes I need to vent and it needs to be out of my head so it doesn't fester.

It's a shame that MIL doesn't tell him about the posts where I pour my heart out saying that I want him back and I would do anything to have him back to him. Just a filter through the good things and point out the bad things to my husband.

He still says he doesn't know when he'll be back at home, he says he doesn't think I hear him in therapy. We only had two so far together. Three if you include the one on one sessions we had last week. I heard him that he doesn't know how he feels about me. He smiles when I talk about what I love about him, then says I doesn't understand or listen to what he says. He says he doesn't know. That I have pulled away from him emotionally, which I have not. He says I have pulled away from Bella emotionally which I have not. Sure I have had some issues in the past because being a mother with not a good role model its only what I have learned and I am trying to fix that.

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