Windows in My life

Monday, December 19, 2011

Grace's Birth Story

A little background: I am a mother of a two and a half year old named Arabella, after an induced labor and 23 hrs to get me to a stage of pushing and 4 hrs trying to push her out. I ended up having an Emergency C-Section to have her on June 12, 2009. Then seven days later I was hospitalized for fluid in my lungs and a heart beat rate of 27 bpm (low I know).

With this pregnancy it was planed and thought of. We had just moved into a new house and just started to put Bella in her own room. In April of 2011 got a few positive pregnancy tests back and confirmed it with the MD's office. Estimated Due Date December 9, 2011. During the pregnancy I made it clear to myself and to my MD that I wanted a V-BAC (vaginal birth after Cesarian) or as the medical world calls it "Trial of Labor".

I also was not kidding myself as I knew if I went 41+ weeks again waiting for my body to spontaneously kick in I would be miserable, closer to Christmas and maybe ending up in the hospital for fluid in my lungs again. So I made my MD schedule a repeat C-Section for my due date, hoping that I go into labor before that happened.

36, 37, 38 weeks past and still no signs of labor. Braxton Hicks (false contractions) kept me up at night. At my 39th week appointment I knew if I didn't go into labor soon, I would go under the knife. I made peace with that. And so the date that would be the Estimated Due Date became the Birthday of the newest addition to our family.

On December 9, 2011 at about 7:45 am I get a call from Labor and Delivery saying that I was to come in at 6 am that morning to be prepped and delivered by 9 am. I told them that my MD stated that I needed to show up at 11 am and no one called or sent me an email with other instructions. (the nurse at that point was huffy). She asked me if I could get there ASAP and I said I would try as my husband was dropping off our daughter at daycare. She asked if I had any food. I said no as I know not to eat or drink before any major surgery.

I contacted my SIL as she was going to be in the OR with me. Last time my husband opted out because he is not so good with blood especially loved ones in pain. I told her the update and then called my husband to tell him what was going on. It took another 20 minutes before we started driving to Kaiser San Francisco. I drove as it would be the last time in a while that I could be behind the wheel of any vehicle.

Finally made it at 9 am in the parking lot and started the walk up to the main hospital. I really wanted to go to Grace Cathedral to light a candle before the operation but made a note to do it after as thanks for a happy and healthy baby and delivery.

When i got to the 3rd floor, I rang the nurses station and told them i was the 9am surgery. The nurse asked another nurse "Are we expecting her?" and I was placed in the waiting room for 10 minutes. Then placed in room 6 for the show to start. After hooking up the IV's and cross checking every i and t; I was walking to the OR saying a small prayer for a smooth delivery and for me not to pass out.

View from the hospital room

After getting the spinal and listening to Christmas music on the radio that was over head; my SIL walked in and the surgery started. The pressure was horrid. I felt that they were trying to collapse a lung and for a few minutes I felt that I could not breath and was gasping for air. Also holding on to my SIL's hand for dear life. I think I was given something stronger for the C-section of my other daughter because I do not remember the pressure being that bad. I just remember shivering because I was cold and frightened. I couldn't tell how many minutes had passed or what was playing on the radio when the surgeon said do you want to see the gender? Of course I said yes, and as I looked up from the blue drape she stated its a GIRL! Waving the lower half of the baby over the drape.

And to be honest my heart sank a tad. I wanted a boy as this little one would be the last baby out of me. My husband and I right now can only afford two extra mouths to feed right now. I am thinking adoption in a few years. At least with adoption we can choose the gender. And I want a boy!
"I want to be put back in"

I with held the name from the nurses and my SIL because I felt my husband should know as well what name I had chosen for her. My SIL got to take pictures of her in the first moments of life unlike my first when I was alone. I also got to spend more time with her as SIL got to hold her for my inspection longer than I got to see Bella.
Meeting Grace for the first time

SIL and I after birth. (She's smiling under the mask)

After they patched me up I was crying of happiness and relief the surgery was over. I was glad and thankful that my SIL was able to be there and to cut the remainder of the cord that was not needed. I was glad that my husband got to hold her skin to skin in the recovery room and I was finally able to say her name. Grace Ellen.

Grace Ellen 10 fingers 10 toes
Grace is a family name from my step dad's side. Aunt Grace lived till she was 97 years old and also after Grace Cathedral is where me and my husband got married (one of the oldest churches in San Francisco; besides Mission Delores which is the oldest church in San Francisco). Later I found out that my husband's side had a Grace too. Ellen is after my mother, that was her middle name. She passed away in 2007 due to natural causes. I didn't have a great relationship with her, but from early on I thought it would work with Grace. Another choice was naming her was Grace Kelly; after the actress turned princess. However it was decided in my head that Grace Ellen would be a better choice since it was in my head the longest.

- Posted using My own words... Well some of them

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Really? Is this a problem? Emails at work

I work out side my home at a great job that pays for the bills, but some times when I get emails from my bosses; I ask myself why do they need to send that email?

Two examples are: "Great job on meeting/exceeding your daily minimums!" or "Thank you for staying on phones for the whole hour! You rock!!"

Then after I read the emails; I ask myself really is there a problem with not meeting the daily minimums or staying logged into an hour phone shift that my bosses need to send an email stating you were above the rest for that? I liken it to the choking warnings on labels on items that anyone with common sense knows that putting a small parted object next to a baby is wrong.

Don't get me wrong. I know those labels are needed by law, however on some times I say to myself "who did this to get it placed on the label?"

I guess having a work ethic is very low on the priority scale with other co-workers as my bosses have a need to send out these and other types of emails highlighting basic work skills that should be expected and not a chance to gain highlighted excellence from upper management.

I guess every job has the "Why did they send that email?" from Management once and a while however I feel like the job I have now does it a lot more often then the standard one or two per quarter.

- Posted using my own mind

Monday, August 8, 2011

#Blogher 2011 Day 2 Expo time

"Say Cheese!"

That is what I said to my stunned daughter as we sat on the steps of the Playskool Sesame Street steps in the morning of day two of Blogher 2011. I think the life size representations of Cookie Monster and Elmo were a bit too much for my two year old however she did warm up to the booth a little after this was taken.

She was a sparkle at the Jimmy Dean booth where we both took the "No Kid Hungry Pledge" and there she warmed up to the camera while trying to take the prop apples with her.

After this picture we walked back outside to the arms of her daddy as he didn't have an Expo pass. He also had other obligations with family and friends that were looking forward to seeing Bella.

After that I braved the Expo alone with a few thousand of people swarming to different booths for different reasons.

- Posted using my own mind

Friday, August 5, 2011

#Blogher11 day 1

As I sit in my hotel room bed with both my daughter and husband fast asleep, and me with pregnancy heart burn, I wonder how Blogher 2011has affected my life in just one day.

1. The conference is way cooler than E3 (even with the booth babes), however I still have yet to go to a party (that's for day 2!).
2. I find myself in a whole new league of motivation and being in my 3rd or 4th year of having this blog, I can still evolve to something better.
3. People that you follow on twitter are genuine and do actually match or exceed expectations in real life.
4. You get what you need from Blogher 2011. There is no experience more than your own and what you put into yourself after the fact.
5. Swag. Yes I went there. It's awesome to see my two year olds face light up after a long day with toys from Playskool and a Google+ shirt and snacks for a tired husband. Not to mention some Mommy items for myself! I will place those under Self Care so I feel no mommy guilt!

Now I should go to bed my heart burn has died down a bit and I have more Blogher to go to in the morning. I wish a good night to all!

- Posted using my own mind

Location:J St,San Diego,United States

Thursday, February 24, 2011

#thought #thursday

How do you save for the future? This has been a dilemma for me up until my mom passed away. Yes I wasn't too happy about what happened and suffered for many months about the death of my mother.

However she did provide me with a means to pay off debt that I had to pay off. I also paid for my wedding (at least half of it) and sock some away for the future. A down payment for a house. A rainy day fund for when I was kicked out needed the money for a place to live until I could figure things out. I used some of it recently for a down payment for a car. I need to repay that back.

Finally me and my husband bought our first home. We used my inheritance from my grand father, like my mother did when my great grand dad passed, to put the down payment on it and used some of the money that was left in the "house" fund towards it.

Now I want to save it for the future and put money back into it so that my daughter and any future little one would have a little savings for school or an around the world vacation when they reach 18 yrs old. It's one or the other we can't afford both just yet... (come on lotto!)

I guess my question is that how do people sock money away and still try and live life with out killing their spouse?


Monday, February 21, 2011

#Manic Monday

So tonight me and hubby had a fight about owing his mom and aunt money they put in for us to buy the new home. Hubby an I were under the impression that it was going to be returned to us sometime in the next few weeks. Turns out it wasn't. So my hubby is stressing out. I had a previous talk with his mom and she stated that when we get some extra cash then it would be ok to pay them back I said that when we get the tax return for 2010 we would pay them back ASAP. I guess hubby wasn't told about the update and he wanted to use what was in savings. I said no because that was Bella's, also the rainy day fund in case of desperate emergencies. I felt that this was not a time to use it. And I told him no. He blew up at me and told me all sorts of things that I felt that I was getting attacked and that he was not listening to me. So I walked out of the car (we were parked at the time) and preceded to walk home. He came after me yelling. Saying that I didn't love him because I didn't say it back. I didn't say it back because I didn't feel like this was about love it was about money. In my view money and love do not mix. We finally resolved the issue but it left a bad taste in my mouth because it felt that if it was a loan from my dad it would be my issue and not his problem. I also felt that h